At the start of 2014, I made a commitment to begin a year long exploration of love. I had no idea where it would lead me. No expectations of how it would turn out. I was guided by a commitment to understanding my relationship to love in all its forms. It’s been quite a productive adventure.
I’m carrying forth a number of gifts into 2015. I wrote a new performance work, “Who Taught You How to Love?”, the first show I’ve written in eight years. I’m preparing to launch a few new creative ventures. I made new friends and collaborators to write and dream up ways of questioning, thinking, creating love. I’ve spent lots of time reflecting, processing, and shedding many layers that are decidedly not love. I let go, well actually….I’m still learning how to let go of what I think I want so that I can receive what is divinely right for me. Thankfully this journey never ends.
A few final reflections on Love as we close out 2014:
- Love doesn’t always look, sound, or act the way I want it to.
- Love demands that I clear away all that I have hidden from myself; all the parts of me that I wish would just disappear.
- No matter how much I want that other person to love me it will not make the difference. My ability to walk away reflects the level to which I actually love myself.
- Love is making mistakes, admitting those mistakes but it’s not giving up.
- That cracking open of the heart is painful but necessary.
- Sometimes people come into my life not to hold on to, not because they are “The One” but just to show me what’s possible in love.
- Tears are necessary and cleansing.
- Getting back up again and again after what feels like failure is necessary.
- Holding expectations that have not been agreed upon or communicated do more damage in relationships than anything else.
- Letting go of those expectations leaves space for peace and real connection.
- Love has a powerful vibration. The more you open to it the more lovers join your party.
- In love there is always enough space for my needs to be met. In ego, I will always find myself waiting for my turn.
- When I’m completely engaged in the work of loving myself it no longer matters who will show up to love me.
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